Data Doesn’t Lie

My deliverance from doing too much

Baby Tea, Second Grade Tea, & Third Grade Tea

Somewhere between when this photo was taken and my initiation into adulthood I’ve collected the habit of trying to fix everything and everybody. My sweet deeply nurturing and empathetic heart didn’t know that my gift of deeply feeling only becomes a burden when I take responsibility for another’s feelings. This once hard to articulate habit began as a toddler with my offerings of marriage advice to my parents. Even then, I could feel the tensions of the two beautiful people who loved me into form but what I didn’t know was that their emotional tensions, challenges, and God given lessons were never mine to fix.

My sweet Virgo first born daughter peanut head didn’t quite know how to hone my powerful gifts of transformation so when I couldn’t change my parents I grew to unconsciously attract partners who matched the wounding in an attempt to grasp familiarity and finally “fix the other” a project I took upon my self.

“Fixing” also morphed into people pleasing and seeking validation outside of me both of which were highlighted in my work life through my long and successful career as a model and international beauty ambassador.

My sensitivity to feeling the pain of another and my unconscious choice to take responsibility for the pain of another influenced me to connect with wounded friends and romantic partners and stick around way too long enduring their pain as my own while I took the all the accountability and did all the over-explaining they refused and quite frankly may not have even had the software to acknowledge.

I thought what I was doing was love but I see now that it was control. I was deeply attached to creating safety in the emotional turmoil of people around me as a round about way of finally feeling at peace within myself.

Overtime this error in my way has flared up to show me myself and illustrate the complexities of my human experience while expanding my limitless ability to change. Recently my discernment has received a divine download and my relationship with “no” has become more intimate. In the live action play of it all I experienced a collection of experiences that invited me to claim I higher view of myself especially in the worthiness category. After praying over and deeply cleansing my home, Most High slid me a pop quiz. With this experience I received a message from a person who felt intrusive, entitled and argumentative. Even as I respectfully responded this person kept pushing the boundary of respect but instead of over explaining or being baited into a petty argument, I simply withdrew myself from the dialogue and prayed for his return to balance.

I acknowledged the teachable moment and gifted Baby Tea a valuable lesson.

I am a whole vibe and I don’t owe any person access to the precious one of a kind Darling and Divine energy Most High made as Me.

As tempting as it is to be messy, I embrace compassion knowing that how a person communicates directly connects to the thoughts and energy they commune with in their own heart.

I also grant myself grace as the same day of my pop quiz I was preparing for dental surgery. I am keen on the divinity in the details and give thankhs to God for a lesson directed in the precise part of my body designed for proper nourishment and communication.

As I sit in the sacredness of yet another new moon, new month and new start I take account of all the suffering I caused myself and all the ways I delayed the experience of another’s choices by trying to control the outcome and help them see how they were walking in error. I see now that my sweet intentioned little girl inside was just learning how it is here in this earth classroom. I smile and acknowledge that it was never my responsibility to do another’s homework for them. I also give thankhs for the adjustment in my approach as I remind myself that those who desire the support of my service will know to ask for it and in return will receive just that.

I love nurturing myself into deeper communion with my access and authority. I no longer care (Philippians 4:6) if another “understands me” because I am a great steward of the time and resources Most High blesses me to innerstand and over stand my own self.

Let me upgrade me

Today I will to share a prayer treatment for deliverance from the error of overgiving. Perhaps you will consider this as an effectual seed that may serve you in your life garden.

Most Gracious, Most Intelligent, Most High, I come before You in gratitude with a citation from your word in one of your many best selling books, 2 Chronicles 7:14 says If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

Most High I recognize that I have harmed myself from trying to do too much.

I confess that I have created a distortion in the form of overgiving, using my time, energy, and resources to seek validation or to fix situations that are not mine to fix. I have allowed fear and desire for control to influence my actions and approach to feeling safe.

I surrender the spirit of people-pleasing and the burden of carrying what is not mine to carry. By the power of the Christ consciousness, I sever the ties of obligation I created in error and the illusion of safety it provided.

My union with you is my safety. You are my divine insurance plan. The reality of you is my safe haven.

May you continue to teach me to trust in Your abunda love and to know in my bones that I am already enough without having to prove it through endless service. Heal the places in my heart that feel responsible for everybody else’s homework. Give me the wisdom to set healthy boundaries and the strength to say “no”

I surrender my attachment to control outcomes and release my loved ones into Your healing hands. Fill me with Your peace, which passes all understanding, and show me to steward my energy well. I choose to serve out of love and overflow, not out of fear or depletion.

Thankh You for the authority, access and freedom to walk in balance, grace, and eternal life.

Thankh you for the remedy.

May your perfect will continue to be revealed in my life always and in all ways.

Asé & Amen